Ask just about any “adult” you meet if his or her life is exactly what they envisioned it to be when they were wide-eyed, innocent children. They’d probably shake their head at you.
Aside from the observation that visions of the future are hardly accurate, you would find that most, if not all people have traded in their lofty goals and lifelong dreams for something more attainable, predictable, and stable.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if you consider some of us wanted to be sea-sailing, swashbuckling pirates when we were tots.
If you wish to make a contribution to the already innumerable list of shattered dreams and missed opportunities, you are free to do so. I’d welcome you to the club, but that would be ironic, for there is hardly any exclusivity in being part of that list.
Before you entertain self-harm and suicidal thoughts, let me assure you that for as long as you are alive, there is always an opportunity for you to attain your highest ambitions. Even people who have been dealt a bad hand can still strive for the loftiest of goals; this leaves people who live under more fortunate circumstances with no excuses when it comes to chasing their dreams.
In the spirit of sharing, let me pass onto you the things that have helped me keep my focus on aiming for the top, and not settling for the proverbial low-hanging fruit.
Don’t Get Too Comfortable
This has got to be one of the most counter-intuitive things I have had to swallow. We are comfort-seeking creatures, after all. The very work culture we live in tells you to bust your behind now so you can retire it years later, when it’s all wrinkly and aching. Besides, being on your toes all the time (literally and figuratively) can take a lot out of you. Why discourage getting comfortable?
At the risk of sounding morbid, the ultimate end for a lot of us, namely death, is the the ultimate form of comfort. There is no need to do anything, no effort to even exist. There will be no worries or concerns, nor things to maintain or aspire for when you have passed on. For those who subscribe to an afterlife, that’s just another version of this “ultimate comfort” (unless you were naughty and are taken into that dark/freezing/fiery pit/abyss/wasteland/etc.).
What am I getting at here? I’m just saying that there’ll be plenty of time (an eternity) for one to be comfortable. As a living and thinking human being, you have about a hundred and twenty-two years, tops. Experience life in as many ways as you can, given the limited time you have.
Preach it, Weird Al!
Get Rid of Things That Weigh You Down
These come in many shapes and sizes. They could even be people. Examine yourself and those around you and find out if any of them are holding you back from a life that you can truly be happy living. Think very seriously about this. A dependent or a friend in need could be a momentary load on you, but they are still decent people that genuinely care for you and want you to be all that you can be. Single out those who live off your kindness without so much as a gesture of gratitude, those who degrade you even as they carelessly spend your resources for selfish motives. You need to break ties with them, and soon.
Vices are another major culprit in lulling you into a sense of satisfaction, without anything to show for it. It’s like getting a medal without actually participating in the sport; it’s ultimately senseless and it does not add value to your life. You will be dependent on them, they will hold you down and prevent you from becoming a better version of yourself.
A typical example of a vice is smoking. It purports to make you look cool without deserving the title, and it allegedly relaxes you while at the same time destroying your lungs. Ditch it. Do it yourself by finding substitutes that are way less hazardous to your body, or if you think you’re not strong enough, find groups of people that can help you out.
Take Chances
While I strongly discourage playing games of Russian roulette on a daily basis (I draw the line at weekly), what I’m getting at is to always let in a little risk and uncertainty into your life, for as long as the potential rewards are worth it.
Look at each endeavor and determine if you can gain something beneficial, whichever way it goes. Let’s say, for example, you enter a pet store and there’s this extremely hot and geeky guy/gal/hamster and you’re really into him/her/it. There are also less attractive choices you could go for. The safety-seeking side of you tells you that “hot property” like that is rarely up for grabs, or that they have high standards themselves, and whatever else your cowardly aspect can tell you to convince you to avoid the risk of failure. Go for the easy conquest, right?
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I don’t know about you, but that’s one hot hamster.
Calm down and think this through: if you manage to hit it off with him/her/it, that’s the reward in itself. If you fall flat on your face, what then? Well, for one, you just proved to yourself that you’re no pushover. Another advantage is that the next time a potential partner comes along, you would be better-prepared, increasing your chances of success. Third, it’ll also make great conversation material. There’s nothing better than telling your personal story of ignominious failure to your friends (and they’ll be laughing at you while you’re doing it). Comedy gold!
That’s it. Now get out there and live!
Author Bio:
Stacey Thompson is a professional writer, marketer, entrepreneur, and a lover of weird little animals. She is based in San Diego, California, and is currently working with NJOY.
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