Everyone's favorite cynical opportunist has seemingly made a career out of striving for ten million dollars, or savoring the tears of his victims. With episodes 7, 8, and 9 of this season of South Park, however, creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker may have revealed Eric Cartman's true motivation for exercising his "authori-tah."

Nintendo Wii
South Park Episode: The "Go God Go" Trilogy

In this episode, the fat boy is obsessed with the release of the first major gaming console that uses wireless motion sensor capabilities for an interactive experience. It's no wonder he keeps a calendar in his bedroom leading up to the launch date, which is three weeks away too many. Working off of his advanced movie-watching prowess, Eric asks his willing whipping boy, Butters, to assist in a cryogenics experiment, meant to preserve himself until the Wii's arrival. How could this, after all, be any worse than having to wait?

The experiment backfires, as an avalanche buries Cartman's location, keeping him hidden for another 500 years. Even better, with the Wii's technology being so primitive at the point of his awakening, no one has any cables that are compatible for hookup.

ASIMO
South Park Episode: "AWESOME-O"

In "AWESOME-O," Cartman dons a cardboard outfit to trick Butters into believing he has a robot friend. Initially thought to be a foolproof plan, the gig seems to be working, with Butters revealing his most embarrassing secrets to Eric. It turns out, though, that Butters has some inside info of his own, doesn't feed Eric (robots don't eat, duh), and wants to bring "AWESOME-O" to Los Angeles to visit his aunt, against Cartman's will.

Upon arriving to L.A., the fake robot is used by Hollywood film producers to come up with movie plots for Adam Sandler, and becomes involved in a top secret government operation to rid the earth of sentient artificial intelligence. By the end of it all, the fashionably plump ten-year-old has resorted to eating toothpaste for nourishment, and everyone gets to watch Butters' humiliating videotape of him dancing with a Justin Timberlake cut-out.

Sony PSP
South Park Episode: "Best Friends Forever"

One of our favorite episode at Fueled.com. Only Eric Cartman could exploit a national debate for a Sony PSP. After his friend, Kenny McCormick, is hit by oncoming traffic, it is learned by the remaining three boys that Cartman is awarded his gaming system in the living will. Unfortunately, Kenny is brought back into a vegetative state, sustained by a feeding tube. Since the last page of Kenny's will, containing his end-of-life requests, is missing, Cartman seizes on the moment by proclaiming himself Kenny's "BFF." Loosely based on the Terry Schiavo case in 2005, this episode's resolution involved Stan and Kyle cutting off their friend's life support to allow him to fight in heaven's army.

And, of course, Cartman gets his PSP.

Hybrid Cars
South Park Episode: "Smug Alert"

Hybrid cars may eventually rid us of most air pollution, and create more efficient machines. That's not why Eric Cartman loves them. Kyle's father has grown so fond of green technology, that he considers himself ahead of the curve and decides to move the family to San Francisco. The kid who hasn't yet grown into his body is so excited, he throws a going away party for Kyle. Without inviting Kyle, that is.

He's glad his frenemy has left for good, until all of South Park begins a progressive shift into smugness that cannot be reckoned with. It's not until the entire town confronts an actual cloud of "smug," that Cartman agrees to venture into San Francisco to save his schoolmate, and teach everyone a lesson about pride.

XBox/Playstation Platform Wars
South Park Episodes: The "Black Friday" Trilogy

In South Park's last two episodes, best friends Kyle and Stan are found on opposing sides of the XBox One/PS4 campaigns. Kyle even forms an alliance with Cartman, in an effort to rally the rest of the school to pitch in for a console on Black Friday. While it is originally pitched as a way of sharing the video game system, Cartman uses the situation to seek victory in the shopping war that will ensue. Building his own army and alienating others in the process, the big-boned sociopath enlists the help of Bill Gates to provide weapons, and claims himself a "wizard king."

Eric Cartman is apparently driven by a love for all things electronic, with a disdain for remorse or consideration for others. If not for the resale value of tech items, he has certainly taught us an important lesson about manipulation.

Author Bio   
This article is written by Jeremy Rappaport from Fueled, an award winning mobile app design and development house based in New York and London.